Tift appeared tonight at DSI Comedy Theater with improv troupe Mr. Diplomat, in Carrborro NC. The format was that Tift will tell a story or anecdote, and the troupe would improvise from the story Tift had just told. The comedy came fast and kept the audience in stitches. I am not going to try to tell you all of their jokes. I can't remember them all.
The first story Tift told was about a gig she and the band played at a NASCAR race. Tift said she doesn't like NASCAR at all, but the money was good. When she arrived she was offered to sing the National Anthem, but that offer was rescinded and given to the singer for the band Saliva. Tift was not thrilled about that in the least. Tift's gig was a free concert after a practice round on Saturday. All the drunken NASCAR fans came and made a pretty big audience for Tift and the band. They were playing along and screams and shouts started to come from the crowd. Tift thought, "alright, we're rock stars here". But in actuality there were girls flashing the crowd and when she looked up everyone had their back to the stage.
Next, Tift told a story about a vacation she took to Italy with a friend of hers that is a reporter. After they arrived her friend told her she was there to do a story about the Mob, and that Naples was a very dangerous city. When Tift was in public alone she should not carry a purse or cell phone, and should not speak English. The first day Tift was alone all day, while her friend was out working. When she got hungry, she ate an egg that was in the flat they had rented, for fear of being mugged or worse out on the streets trying to find some food. The egg was bad, and gave Tift food poisoning. To make matters worse, the cab driver they had befriended was going to give Tift a motorcycle tour of the city the next day, but when he found out what her friend was doing researching the Mob, left in a cloud of dust. They never saw him again while they were there.
Tift told a couple of stories from her childhood, one about how she used to pay her little brother to let her tickle him under the arms. Then one day, he had gotten big enough to reverse it on her, and got all her braces stuck in the carpet. She also told about learning the birds and bees from her 11 hear old neighbor in 100% medical book detail, when she was 5 or 6. Tift said she didn't remember it, but her mother said she came in and told her exactly what the neighbor boy had said in great detail, probably even better than what she knows about the subject this day.
Tift's last story was about her red carpet entrance at the Grammy Awards. Getting from the limo to the ceremony was a comedy of errors. First, her father got out of the limo the same time that Slip Knot did, if you are familiar with them, you know that could not have been a good scene. Tift had practiced getting out of the limo so that her dress looked perfect and she was ready for the cameras as soon as her feet hit the carpet. However when she got out there were no cameras at all. Next as Tift and Zeke were walking in behind Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong, Zeke is caught on video camera checking out Ms. Crow from behind. Finally they get to where the paparazzi are waiting and Tift's publicist introduces her and she's standing there with a big fake smile waiting to be photographed, and not one flash bulb goes off, totally disappointing. Finally after they get inside, Tift is getting Zeke back by checking out the "handsome actor from CSI with the green eyes." Her words, not mine. He is holding a little girl and she has a doll in her hand, which the little girl uses to hit Tift in the eye. Zeke told her it wasn't bad, but Tift told us it gave her a case of the "stinkeye", and that is never good.
After telling those stories and enjoying improv they sparked Tift played 5 songs acoustically. 4 new songs, and Good Hearted Man to finish with. The new songs Tift played were, Hopes to High, Something to Me, My Heart is Wild and Free, and one that I'm not sure what the title is.
DSI is a neat little theater, it only sits 84 people and there were no empty seats. Tift sounded great as always. I didn't get a chance to take any pictures, sorry, but the room was to small to move around to get a good shot, and Tift was running late to meet some friends after the show, so I didn't hold her up with getting pictures. It was a good time and a good opportunity to get to know Tift a little bit better. I hate y'all missed it.
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